I know I’ve mentioned it before but people tend to forget because I have a disease that you can’t exactly see. I try my best to stay fit because it seems to help yet there’s a certain time frame for my disease that I can’t seem to control. So this time around to help me cope I’ve decided to write it a letter.
Dear Eosinophilic Gastroenteritis,
I hate you! I know my mom says to not use the word hate because it’s a strong word but seriously I HATE YOU! For years now you’ve made my life a living hell. I’m thankful that I know your name and know who you are and have a basic knowledge of how to keep you away but this time around you’re really pissing me the F off! You’re more painful than labor and delivery and you always seem to come about a month or so after I’ve given birth to a beautiful baby. The first time around you tried to kill me but God wasn’t having it and some how I lived through it and was graced with an amazing doctor who found your nasty self and he helped lead me on the path to remission. Remission back then was extremely difficult. I had to stop breastfeeding my first child because of you. It broke my heart. You cost a ton of money in those days, thousands of dollars. I’m lucky Troy still said yes to going through with our church wedding. It solidified our vows especially the “in sickness and health” part. I’m so lucky I have such a supportive family and friends who helped me through that first remission. I couldn’t have done it without them. Then a couple of years later you decided to show your ugly face again! Again you caused me much pain but luckily not as much money. I’m lucky I had an amazing lactation consultant by my side as she guided me through the next remission. You didn’t take breastfeeding away from me then. Yet the remission was very difficult I was very angry. Again my wedding vows were solidified “for richer or poorer” as Troy let me quit my full time job to become a stay at home mom. The third time around I had a feeling you were trying to come after me again. This time I knew what to do and went to the doc to take care of you. Remission wasn’t as bad then. Now a couple of years later you’re poking out your ugly head again and I’m furious! I want to know WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!? What in the world is going on in my body that you think around 4-8 weeks postpartum is a good time to show up? I don’t want to go on the only known treatment because it makes me angry and messes with me. I search and search I ask and I read and I can’t find any other alternative. I can’t live with this pain though and I can’t allow you to get out of control or you win and I can’t do that to my family. So I pray; to Saint Michael the Arch Angel defend me in this battle, to Our Lady of Lourdes (how I wish to dip in those waters). I won’t let you win.
You’re going back down sucka,