Frustrated

In College we used to have sessions during finals where we would go outside and scream as loud as we possibly could! Or we’d break into the athletic center and take a dip in the pool. We would take breaks from the stress of life from the stress of studying from the stress of being in the post season for sports and just release it all. Yet what do you do when you no longer have those stress relievers? The stresses of my days at Regiville are nothing in comparison to the stresses of “real life” sorry Regis you didn’t fully prepare me for that one.
I know it’s been a decent number of years since I graduated from my dear Alma Mater high on the hilltop in sunshine and shadow (now that it’s coed is that song still the same?) but I find myself longing for those days; longing for the simplicity of life. I find myself longing the schedules for the sisterhood, and the sports. The food wasn’t always the greatest but hey at least someone was doing the dishes for me. Right now half the time I have to calmly focus on the task at hand and gently put away the dishes though honestly I’m envisioning throwing them and breaking them all over the kitchen; yet then that would be another mess to clean up and I don’t have the energy for that. Plus I’m fairly certain Troy wouldn’t be so happy with me for having to but new dishes. I take a break and do some incline push-ups on the counter instead, that’s a much healthier option.
So there’s the secret folks, there’s part of the answer to the question I’m asked all the time: “How do you do it [find the time to work out]?” I make the time I run (literally and figuratively) away from my chores, I run away from the stresses in my life. I return a much calmer person, readily to tackle my tasks a bit better. If I didn’t make that consistent workout/me time then I’d probably have the MPs called on me because it’s not acceptable to just step outside and scream on the top of my lungs anymore. I find when I’m active I’m a happier person. I find when I’m in the pool I get a bit more in touch with myself and for the first time in my life I’m not thinking “1-2-3-breathe” over and over again.
Other military spouses will get where I’m coming from. Deployment flat out sucks! You find yourself attached to your phone waiting to see the “active now” status on Facebook messenger (yes I admit I’m that pathetic wife). You find yourself having sleepless nights and staring at your children as they sleep. You see the beauty in them and the innocence in them and pray that they don’t fully realize [at least at this age] the cruel dark world that they live in. You pray that they grow up to see the light in the darkness, and that they know that they are bright beacons of hope helping you through the troubled waters of life.
So yes I’m frustrated with many things in life too complex to fully explain over a blog post. It’s ok though, those feelings are completely natural. Yet luckily I’m learning how to adjust to the new stressors in my life and for now, I’ll snuggle with my kiddos and enjoy the beautiful life that God has granted us.

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