Let me make it clear that I do not think one type of “Mothering” is better than another! I have lived throughout the spectrum of mothering both as a child and a Mom. As a child there were times when my Mom: stayed at home, worked part-time, worked full-time and was a single parent. Now that I’m a Mom I’ve: worked full-time, been a single parent (while Troy was away for 8 months at BCT* & AIT*) and stayed at home.
Currently I am a “Stay at Home Mom” with two toddlers that are two years apart. Also, as an Army Wife it comes with the territory that there will be times that I am a single parent. However, I am sick of all the negativity I have received as a stay at home mom, especially when it comes from another Mom!
There have been too many times that I have:
- attempted to volunteer my time to help out an organization and been turned down because: the leader thought I’d be incompetent for the task, they wouldn’t tell me my child care options or they’d tell me at the last-minute so I wouldn’t be able to attend.
- asked a question about an upcoming event and told the answer in a rude, condescending tone of voice.
- been told some version of: “Oh, you wouldn’t understand because you’re at home all day with your kids and don’t do anything.”
This negativity towards my current role as a stay at home mom has hurt my feelings and I know there are other Moms in their mothering roles that feel the same way. I want other Moms to know that you are not alone! Whenever I felt down about something, and how I was doing in that role, I’d turn to my Nana and she would always ask: “Are you doing your best?” Even though my Nana passed away a couple of years ago, whenever I still get that strange Am I doing this right? feeling, I think of her and her words of wisdom over a cup of tea. The answer as a stay at home mom is yes, I am doing my best, right now this is the best role I can be in for my family.
As some of you may recall it has been just over a year since I stopped working full-time and the decision to change roles was very difficult. I am still adjusting and learning the ropes. Initially I only had a few good friends, that always support me no matter what mothering role I choose (you know who you are <3). Now I am thankful for all of the connections I have made through MOPS (to learn more about MOPS check out some of my past posts) these ladies helped me to realize that I am not alone!
Now I could place pages and pages of things that I have done and accomplished throughout my life, below are just the bullets, yet for some folks, telling you that I…
- have lived all of the world and traveled to many countries because I was an “Army Brat”, was very involved with Saint Mary’s Life Teen in Dedham, Massachusetts and was a part of the 2001 US Youth Ensembles European Concert Tour as a member of the choir
- took journalism and in High School worked on an award-winning newspaper, the Dedham Mirror (post coming soon about supporting past organizations you were involved in) serving as the advertising editor
- attended Regis College where some of the professors are nuns, Sisters of Saint Joseph, and majored in Communications with a minor in Religious Studies
- was a three-sport athlete (field hockey player, swimming captain, softball manager turned player when needed and a founding mother of the lacrosse team) and an active member of SAAC, serving as President my senior year.
- attended Vanderbilt University – Divinity School for graduate studies in theology
- am a published writer (not just a blogger) currently serving as an editor for my husbands novel
- worked in aquatics and even hold professional certifications in the health and wellness field
- ran a marathon and am currently training for a half marathon and a triathlon
…may not do anything because you’ve chosen to only see me and other stay at home moms through one lens. Hopefully folks will learn to widen their perspective and see us as more than stay at home moms. Hopefully they’ll start to be respectful and realize that at the root of it all, we’re all Moms!
*For folks that aren’t familiar with military terms, Troy is in the Army and BCT stands for Basic Combat Training, better known as “Boot Camp” and AIT stands for Advanced Individual Training.